Lady Peeves

Gross guys, c'mon now.

I mean things about the ladies that cheese me right off.

Also, I'm making some cuppy cakes tonight for a very special lady.....on her very special....day....dang it I'm bad at secrets.
So what does that mean for you? You don't have to read my random weird day blogs. You'll get to see some nommy cupcakes again soon.

Things about the girlie's out there that I found outrageously annoying:

1. The girl in the dressing room with her friends that swears she looks fat in everything she wears. Listen here tiny angel face - you literally just said those shorts are a size 2. 2! There is truly only one size smaller than that. a ZERO! Christ, people that wear zero's are non existent to me.

2. The skanky girl that posts herself up at the bar trying to get free drinks all night. Do you know what happens to me when some dude buys me a drink? Nothing! I get weird. Then I'm all like "thank you for the thirst quenching beverage good sir." *Initiate handshake now*

3. Girls that are so wrapped up in what they're doing or how fly they look that they don't pay attention to where they're going. Don't glare at me when I almost run you over because you wandered out in front of my car. It's not my fault! I mean, yes, technically it would be. But if you weren't trying to get your hair unstuck from your lip gloss we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

4. Girls that feel the need to show everyone their tattoos. No matter where they are located. Even though that golfer may have wanted to see your tramp stamp, it's not work appropriate to show him. Not the time or place chicky. Not the time or place.

5. Girls that text nude photos of themselves. I really don't care if that's what you want to do, but maaaaayyybbeeee you should make sure you're sending them to a guy that isn't going to show everyone. Make your mothers proud sweet lady friends.

6. Over sharing. There are so many things about you that I do not need to know. Ever. I could elaborate but I just wont. Even if we are total bff's I can guarantee there are still things about you that I do not want to know.

7. Bridezillas. I COMPLETELY understand that you want your wedding day to be the most magical, perfect, flawless thing ever. If you could be kissed by butterflies as you floated away on a cloud I'm sure you'd like that too. Let's be rational. Sometimes things happen. Uncontrollable things. Rain for instance, that's one of those things you have no control over. Screaming, crying, and throwing a temper tantrum are not going to make the situation any better, or make me like you any better.

8. Screaming when "your song" comes on. Why does that happen?

9. This is a multiple part irritation. And it all has to do with styles of pictures.
A. Duckface. Whhhhhhyyyyy do people do this. I know it's supposed to make your lips look fuller and more desirable but honestly. ICK!
Here's an example.

Next time you're taking a picture and you do this I want you to take a second picture. Of your side profile: 

Is your face supposed to look like that? I don't think so. 

B. "Selfies". I am friends with girls that upload crazy amounts of self taken photos. The occasional 1 or 2 is fine. But 3 a day? Really? And in the car none the less. Aren't you driving? Or did you get in the car for a quick photo sesh? You're another one of those people that I would run over. 

I know you took that yourself. And quit trying to act like you didn't know it was coming. What are you looking at?? And bathroom pictures! I will totally call you out if you are sitting on the toilet while you're taking pictures of yourself. 

C. Anything cropped like this:

oh yeah? Whatcha showing me? For reals. 

So whenever I see pictures like that at first I:

and then it's straight into:

unamused. 

10. Leggings are not pants. Please cover up. Soon please. 

So there you have it. My top 10 Lady Peeves. I may end up making a part 2 some day. 

Hooray for cupcake day! Maybe I'll do another contest and send out more cupcakes. :) That was fun. 

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